Guy – Chicago
I was a typical go to church on Sunday Catholic. I went to Catholic grade school, high school, and Catholic college. That’s where I heard about Medjugorje. I go, “Oh, miracles happen today. This I’ve got to see for myself.”
I thought all miracles happened 2000 years ago. I didn’t think anything had happened since then. I had to see it for myself. I didn’t trust anyone else, even when I heard about the miracles of Jesus, I thought, “I wish I was there to see for myself.” I heard about Medjugorje in ’83 but I always had excuses for not coming.
I became a chemical engineer so I started studying math and science. I like to see everything for myself. On a job, if they sent me to test something out, a pump or something, I’d read up on it so I can pass the test, or if anybody’s going to try and trick us, I’ll be able to catch them.
So when I thought about going to Medjugorje, I go, “I’m going to have to brush up on my Roman Catholicism. I took a test and I got zero out of 100. I wasn’t paying attention because I thought math and science were important and religion wasn’t important. But I really didn’t understand anything.
A couple years go by. Then when I was 25 years old, I go, “I’m going to have to read the Bible for myself.” So I took the whole year, plowed through it.
There were a couple stories that hit me. One was David and Goliath. A big, nine-foot giant goes, “Your God is a joke and you guys are a bunch of wimps. Send your best man out here to fight me. If he wins, we’re going to be your slaves, but if I win, you’re going to be our slaves.”
David has what engineers call a breakthrough in technology. That’s the dream of inventors, you get this breakthrough in technology and you make conventional weapons obsolete.
David accepts the challenge, and I loved it because when he went out to get Goliath, he stops at a brook and he pulls out five smooth stones. When I remember seeing that detail, it really hit me. I go, “David, you’re the inventor. You got him in one shot, maybe two. What are you doing with five stones?” It just didn’t make sense. The first one cracks him in the head, and he wins.
I just love that story. That detail bothered me. I kept on reading the whole thing. I struggled through the whole Bible. I finished, took another test, and got zero out of 100 again. I didn’t know anything that was going on.
They say the left brain is for math and science and the right brain is for liberal arts. I was never good at liberal arts. I figured that religion must be so far right-brained, I was never going to understand anything.
I thought, “I’m approaching Medjugorje all wrong.” I had to approach it from a scientific standpoint, something I could handle.
In 1989, I signed up with a group and we came out here. People who were in the pilgrimage before would tell me, “Yeah, I saw the miracle of the sun. The sun was dancing and spinning.” I listened to them, and I said, “These people are telling me the truth. However, these simple people from this third world country don’t know a high tech laser show when they see one.”
I have this theory. I started mapping out where electricity was running. I was finding possible laser projection sites. When everyone was looking at the miracle of the sun, I was going to go to the laser projection site and go, “Gotcha!”
Day one comes, no miracle. Day two comes, no miracle. I go, “What a jip. I heard about these things for all these years and nothing.”
I was pestering all the pilgrims, and finally one of them says, “You’ve got to pray.”
I go, “Pray? What’s that going to do? We’ve got to get to the bottom of this.”
I climb up Mount Križevac, I get to the top, and the big cross is there. It was very easy to imagine the Blessed Mother floating there just like Mirjana described Her, this beautiful 18 year old girl with long black hair and rosy cheeks, blue eyes, voice like an angel. I talked with Her like I would talk to any 18 year old girl.
I was 28 years old, and I thought I had the world by the tail at that time. I had never prayed to the Blessed Mother before. My attitude was, “I pray to God myself. What do I need Her for? And the Rosary, that silly prayer for little old ladies, what about us engineers? We need prayers too. Where’s the engineer prayer?”
I get up there, and I start giving Her my attitude. The first prayer I said to the Blessed Mother, I go, “Mary, it’s me, Guy. I’m here from Chicago. I tell you what, give me your best shot. I’m going to give you my best shot. If you win, I’ll do whatever you say, but if I win, I’m going to defeat Medjugorje.” I don’t see Her with my eyes, but I feel like this challenge is accepted.
I meant to lift up the rosary, and I wanted to say, “What is it with this silly thing?” That was the first strange thing that happened. I wanted to say it, but it was like a potato went in my mouth, and it just stopped me. So I go, “Well, you know what I mean.” I zipped down the mountain.
The next day was December 8th, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. We come out of the church, and everybody starts seeing the miracle of the sun. I go, “Oh man, I thought the whole week was going to go by and we were going to have nothing.”
I look up, and what happens? It burned my eyes.
I go, “There’s a logical explanation for this.” When you’re an engineer, you think there’s a logical explanation for everything. They’re standing in front of the church. I was in the side yard because all the cement wasn’t there at the time. I was actually digging a hole on the side looking for underground wires. I go, “I’m at a bad angle. There’s a laser show, and I can’t see it. I have to go next to them.” I walked up next to them, looked up again. Boom. Burned my eyes again.
It was so illogical because they were all able to see it. I would look right in their eyes. I would go, “Something has to be blocking the sun.” I would look up again and get burned again. I got stuck in, “There’s a logical explanation for it.” I kept on looking. I couldn’t stop until I got it.
Finally, my eyes got so bad it was like when a camera flashes and you get black spots. It was so bad and so intense, I had to leave.
I was really rattled. I go, “They should be blind for as long as they’ve seen it.” All of a sudden, I tripped on a pothole. I realized, “Great. I’m blind.” The black spots were so bad I could barely see. They wouldn’t go away.
I remembered my parents and all my engineering friends were saying, “Don’t go to Medjugorje.” They’re going to say, “How was your trip?” And I’d say, “Hi, I’m blind.”
I just ruined my whole life. How could I have been so stupid looking at the sun? Everybody should’ve known better.
I was so mad, I started kicking myself all the way around Medjugorje. My eyes don’t clear up. I change my plan. I started begging God, “I’ll do whatever you say for the rest of my life. Give me my sight.” I’m promising Him all these things.
I climbed Apparition Hill. I fell a few times, all full of dirt. I was sitting down where She first appeared, and I don’t see Her with my eyes or hear Her with my ears, but something strange started going on in my heart. It was like She was there, and She was brushing me off and just kept repeating the words, “Jesus forgives.”
She even helped me to my feet. She said, “Do you want to help?” And I said, “Sure.”
Now, if you look up at the sun, your eyes burn and you’ll feel a pain at the bridge of your nose in your forehead. I had this brain overload and my head was just splitting with the pain in my eyes and my forehead. It felt like somebody had taken a baseball bat and whacked me in the head. But when She said, “Do you want to help?” And I said, “Sure,” I felt a kiss right there. I felt this warm tingling feeling in my forehead, and instantly my eyes cleared up.
When I get back from Medjugorje, I know the first two things about the faith. One, you don’t up Mount Križevac and give the Blessed Mother any lip. I didn’t know that before, and I know that now. The second thing, visionary Vicka said, “Even though we don’t think so, Jesus and Mary are very close to each and every one of us. What we have to do is open up our hearts and realize that they’re there and they love us and they’re speaking to us all the time.” When I got back from Medjugorje, that was so obvious, it was like looking through a two-way mirror. I was aware that Her presence was right there. It was so obvious.
I get home, and I said, “Man, I have to live Our Lady’s messages. I have no doubt Medjugorje is true, but I still think the Rosary is just for little old ladies.” Not only that, She wanted 15 decades every day. I go, “Hey, let’s not go too crazy. I’ll give you five decades a day.”
Although I’m learning Her presence, I had more than a little pride. I would pray the Rosary because She won fair and square, but after maybe a decade, it was the repetition that started getting to me. I’d say, “Hail Mary, full of grace,” then I’d start saying, “This is an insult to my intelligence. How many times do I have to say a prayer? I’ve got it figured out.”
I’d say, “Hail Mary, full of grace, this is an insult to my intelligence,” and as I was saying that, I would relive that experience. I would remember the sun burning my eyes, I feel like my life is over because I’ve blinded myself. I know She was making me remember that. I’d say, “Okay, I’m praying. I’m praying. Cut that out, Blessed Mother. I can’t help it if it’s a dumb prayer.”
I go, “Look at this, first Joyful Mystery, the Annunciation. The fruit of the mystery is humility. What does humility have to do with the Annunciation? I don’t get it. Humility is what you did to me in Medjugorje. You bopped me on the head like David bopped Goliath on the head.” Then the light went on. I knew Padre Pio and the visionaries in Medjugorje were calling the Rosary a weapon. I realized that things in the Old Testament got foreshadowed for the true fulfillment in the New Testament. I saw David’s sling in the Rosary then. When David went to get Goliath, he got five smooth stones, that’s the five decades of the Rosary, then he get’s Goliath with the first shot. The fruit of the first mystery is humility. In our age, God is using humility to crush the proud head of Satan.
As I figured this out, I start patting myself on the back. I go, “Hey! I know three things about the faith!” Then I go, “Wait. Time out. What’s wrong with this picture? I’m on the receiving end of this weapon! I got clobbered!”
Our Lady She’s good, and She works with us. But I would fight with Her all the way. That was in ’89 or ’90. Then She just beat the you-know-what out of me eventually.
Shortly after that, my grandma asked me to take her shopping. I said, “Sorry, Grandma, I’m going to a prayer group.” At this time, I’m going to all these prayer groups.
She said, “Guy, you are falling in love with the Blessed Mother.”
I look at her, and I said, “Grandma, that is sick!” I insulted her.
She didn’t flinch. She said it again, “You’re falling in love with the Blessed Mother!”
I remember leaving saying, “I’m not going to argue with you.” I’m turning all red. I go, “You know, I have been acting strange the last year and a half. I’m way out of character, doing all these crazy things. What’s going on? Am I in love with the Blessed Mother?”
Somebody gave me a book by St. Louis de Montfort. I remember opening it up, and it said, “holy slave of love.” Once I saw that, I threw it on my ‘maybe I’ll read it someday’ pile. Now, I went looking for this book. It says, “a holy slave of love is actually the surest, shortest, safest way to be united with Jesus and become a saint.”
That’s where the name Totally Yours for my pilgrimage company started. I started learning more about the faith, and then eventually started bringing people on pilgrimages.
I ended up falling in love with the Blessed Mother. She has me doing Her simple school of faith all these years. You learn in Her simple school. Praise the Lord.
I pray the Rosary every day, adoration every day, Mass. Whatever She wants, I just try and do it.
When I got back from Medjugorje, I wrote a letter to all my engineering friends. I go, “They’re no dummies. Once they hear about it, they’re going to figure it out for themselves.” I said, “Hey, there’s something going on in Yugoslavia. You should check it out for yourself.”
I was learning and they saw. They picked up what a spiritual knucklehead I was and I always puzzled them. Finally, one of the engineers heard I was going back and said, “I want to go with you.”
Then he goes, and one of the first days, we see the miracle of the sun. He’s looking up and what it looks like is Holy Communion right in front of the sun. It stops the rays from burning your eyes.
This was important to me because when I got back from the first trip, I started listening to the different talks. Vicka the visionary said, “That is the holiest moment of the Mass. At that moment, Jesus comes alive and we receive Him.”
I said, “What? Are you trying to tell me that’s not just bread that I’m eating at Communion all my life? Are you saying there’s something more powerful than a firecracker, something more powerful than a nuclear bomb, more powerful than the sun, God Himself is coming into my body all these years and I had no idea?” I was so insulted. My expertise is heat and mass balance. I have to keep track of where all the energy is going or things could blow up. Our Lady is trying to tell me that all this energy was going into my body all these years and I was clueless. I was so mad. I go, “There’s no way I could have missed that!”
I went to the library, and I read about the Eucharist. The number one thing in the Catholic faith, the Eucharist is God. She’s right again. It’s not a piece of bread, it’s God.
I went to the adoration chapel, and I was looking at the Host. I go, “Hi, Jesus. This is amazing! My God is there!” I’m looking and I’m praying and I’m looking. I go, “I don’t see God. I see a piece of bread.” I was stuck from the head to the heart. I knew it but I didn’t get it.
Then a scripture quote came alive. “For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life.” From John 6:40.
I knew exactly what that meant. I had to look at the Host and believe, and I didn’t.
Something crazy started going on in my heart. It was like Our Lady was there holding me by the hand, and She said, “Don’t think you know everything.” I can’t explain it. I didn’t hear it in my ears. She said, “Pray that Jesus will give you the grace to understand.”
So I got back on my knees in the chapel in adoration. I go, “Jesus, I’m sorry. I slept in Your church all these years. Give me the grace to understand that that’s You in the Eucharist.” I knew it was going to take time and I had to make many visits.
Now, with my friend Gerald in Medjugorje, we see the Eucharist in the sun. I could calculate how much energy is coming out of the sun, but now I could see the Host in front of it. It was more powerful than the sun. It was blocking it.
It helped the journey from my head to my heart. It helped me appreciate that something more powerful is going on.
Now I do adoration every day and I love Jesus in the Eucharist. The number one thing in my life is receiving Jesus in Holy Communion. That comes from Our Lady and slowly She helped me understand that.
We got back to the hotel and my friend Gerald was trying to digest what was going on. He was pacing back and forth, and he said, “I don’t think we saw a miracle.”
I was reading my book, and I go, “Uh-huh.”
He said, “We don’t try to look at the sun when we’re at home. It was low enough in the sky that our eyes adjusted to it. It made it look like a disc, and that’s why we were able to see it. I would have to see it at the same time of day and have it burn my eyes before I believe.”
I remember looking up at the Blessed Mother. He mumbled it the first time, but what are friends for, I made him say it again. I go, “Gerald, what did you say? Say it louder.”
He said real loud, “I’d have to have it burn my eyes before I believe!”
I was like, “You heard him, Blessed Mother. You’ve got to get him.”
The next day, we were in the church at the time of the apparition. He said, “Come on. Let’s go see the miracle.”
I said, “You go right ahead. You go take a look around. I’m going to stay here and pray. I’ll pray for you.” I stayed for the Rosary and the Mass then I came out and found him on a bench and he had his hands over his eyes. The same thing happened to him. Everybody saw the miracle and it burned his eyes. All he could say was, “I believe it now.” He wept.
He had a conversion. He was afraid to get totally off the deep end like me, but he eventually made his confirmation. It took him about two years. He got married and wanted to raise his kids Catholic. It was wonderful.
I’m so thankful that God sends Our Lady to give us a clue. You’ve got to pray for all those engineers. Some of us are so lost, we don’t even know we’re lost. We need a little bop on the head. I see so many people who come to Medjugorje. Most of them don’t need a bop on the head, but Mother knows what we do need. Some of them just need a little encouragement or a candy kiss.
I would encourage everyone to come to Medjugorje. If you put someone in a shower, they’re going to get wet. If you put them in Medjugorje, they’re going to get a lot of graces. Mother knows what they need.
I decided to read the whole Bible. In the second chapter, we all heard about the forbidden fruit. I’m reading it, and there’s not just one special tree. There’s a second tree in the Garden of Eden. I go, “How come I’d never heard about this tree before?” It’s called the Tree of Life. If they eat that, they live forever.
I remember reading that. I was sitting in my chair and I fell to the floor. I go, “There’s an antidote to the forbidden fruit? I got the whole Bible figured out after the first two chapters of Genesis. God’s going to give us clues to find the Tree of Life.” That gave me the incentive to read the whole Bible.
As I finished the Bible, I was looking for clues and in the book of Revelation the whole world is going to Hell in a hand basket, but after that, they’re eating the fruit from the Tree of Life and there’s great peace. I go, “There it is again! I know it’s there and it’s important, but I missed a clue! What did I miss?”
I thought I might get clues in Medjugorje so I went to Medjugorje looking for it. After the second trip when She bopped my friend Gerald, the Blessed Mother slowly
I had this arrogance about me. She’s from Heaven, but She had Her opinion and I have my opinion. Finally, I go, “She knows all mysteries. She’s got this in with God. She knows where the Tree of Life is.” I go, “Come on, Blessed Mother. Tell your friend, Guy. Where are we going to find the Tree of Life?” I thought it would be the greatest archeological, religious, historic find of all time. We’re going to find the Tree of Life, we’re going to eat the fruit, and we’re going to live forever.
I couldn’t understand anything. I was missing the whole point.
I remember in one of Her messages She says, “Pray the Rosary for all you ask of me.” I started praying the Rosary. I was doing the Joyful Mysteries. By this time, I had started learning how to meditate. I was on the second Joyful Mystery, the Visitation. Mary is going to visit her cousin Elizabeth. I was thinking about the Tree of Life and how it would have to have a very special fruit. Then Elizabeth says, “Blessed is the fruit of your womb.”
Fruit. I go, “Blessed Mother, it’s you! You’re the true Tree of Life, and the fruit that we are to eat to live forever is the fruit of your womb, Jesus, in Holy Communion.” That’s what everybody’s looking for, we just don’t get it yet. I remember just looking at Her in the corner thinking, “I found you. I was looking for you for all those years, and I finally found you.”